Obsess much?

Episode Eleven: What The Elle?–We begin at Atlas with the all too familiar refrain of Jeffrey trash talking everyone. “If you want peasant blouses, Uli’s in. If you want run of the mill, friendly fashion, Michael’s in. If you want mothballs and chicken soup, Laura’s in, and if you want crotch staples and tattoos that look like I fell asleep at a frat party, I’m in.” Just kidding, if you want me you have to live dangerously. Dangerous=flipping off the camera. Woooo!

Heidi says this challenge is “the big one” and they’ll be meeting with Nina Garcia at Elle the next day to discuss everything. Model pickin’ time and since Laura won, she gets first pick and stays with Camilla. Uli gets drawn from the magic button bag and what a bitch, she takes Nazri right away from Michael. She’s all, “Sorry Lindsay!” Lindsay winks at her but is all, “My boobs held up all those structureless dresses this whole time and this is how you thank me?” Michael takes it in stride and picks Clarissa (Angela’s old model). Jeffrey sticks with Marilinda and my little talker and walker, Amanda, goes home.

They go to Elle and Nina tells them the importance of the fashion editorial and giving fashion writers something new they haven’t seen. The first look pages in Elle give up-and-coming designers exposure to millions of people. (Does anyone really still read Elle?) She gives them the challenge, which is to make the outfit of their choice, showing who they are as a designer. It should have a strong point of view, a story and they have absolute creative freedom. They’re also given one-sheets and have to choose three words that describe themselves as fashion designers, and the words should connect to the look. How design school of them. But anyway.

Back in the workroom Tim gives them a half hour to sketch, $250 and two days to complete the challenge. He commands them to WOW THOSE JUDGES, and leaves them to sketch. Jeffrey’s going to take a huge risk and show them his romantic side. This icks me out, the notion of Jeffrey being romantic. He’s doing a red, white and blue dress. How patriotic of him, is the Statue of Liberty back? Let’s just hope this one won’t be as crotch-exposing as the last SoL-inspired garment. Uli plans on letting the fabric store tell her what she should make. Laura’s doing what Laura does best, a plunging neckline cocktail dress. Michael is stumped, and none of his sketches are clicking with him.

Off to Mood. Michael grabs some purple stretch silk charmeuse. Uli grabs a crazy ass print. SHOCKER.

Back in the workroom Michael seems seriously disabled. He says he’s having a major brainfreeze. Come on Michael, pull through for me baby! Make something fabulous even though that German meany took away your muse!

Uli is having trouble with her dress and tries to solicit help, to which Laura is all, “it just looks like every other dress you’ve ever made. Why are you laughing? Look, I’ve got an effing dress to make, I can’t be chatting with you in German. Auf wiedersehen!” And jets. Don’t mess with the pregnant lady, people. It’s getting mean up in here. Uli tries to get Jeffrey to put on the dress, and he says, “I don’t wanna put it on, it’ll make me look fat.” Okay that was pretty funny. He puts on the dress, but maybe not the way Uli was thinking.

Oh look, it’s my favorite comic book character, SuperAsshole. Michael finally gets a sketch that hits him right, and says his three words are “sexy, sensual, sophistication.” Wait aren’t the first two redundant? No matter, get on it Mike.

Tim comes around and tells Jeffrey what he’s making is really unexpected. Jeffrey talks about how great he is and how one time his dress almost made someone cry (no I’m pretty sure that was you and your grating presence, but whatever gets you through the challenge dude). Laura thinks she might be too safe and Tim says she better keep the judges guessing. Michael shows off his sketches and Tim warns him not just to make a pretty dress. Uli tells Tim she’s thinking hers looks like a kitchen dress, and Tim lectures her for a minute before being all DON’T BORE NINA in her face.

Uli’s so cute, she interviews, “Coming up, Uli doesn’t finish her dress… but watch what happens on Project Runway!” It sounds just like the teasers before the commercials haha.

Next day and Uli says she’s in deep trouble because she wasted a whole day and wants to redo the dress. Laura’s wearing a Blogging Project Runway tank top (cool!). Tim tells the designers to grab their one-sheets and gather. Apparently the winning design will be photographed by some hard-to-pronounce name (which everyone gasps at) and wil be featured on the First Look page in Elle. Oh yeah, and there’s a new deadline–5 p.m. You also have to dress up your models and do a photo shoot to stick on your one-sheet and convey the story.

Uli no likey.

Everyone gets to work except Jeffrey, who gets a video mail from his girlfriend of their son. Oh, and Bravo, you suck. If anyone wants to call Jeffrey’s babymama, her number is 917-3xx-xxxx (edited in case someone decides that’s worth suing over). Good job not blurring that out Bravo. If I was mean, I would have called her. But I’m not, so I will leave that up to yall. Now if it was Jeffrey’s number…

At 5pm they have one hour to get their models photographed. Michael shoots at Atlas, he wants a “loungey” feel, it’s all about the dress and being seen. Jeffrey goes to take a picture in the nature of central park. If he says romantic one more time, I’m going to scream. Just cause you used velvet, I mean come on. Laura decides Camilla is on her way to an event, and instead of shooting in front of a gorgeous church or opera house or whatever, she stuffs her into the ugliest transportation ever: the elevator.

Except they can’t get the door to stay open. Profanities. Exasperation. Stupid idea. NEXT! Uli’s shooting in Times Square and the subway.

Tim gives them one hour to choose a photo and finalize their words.
Laura–glamour, confidence, elegance
Jeffrey–romantic (aaah!), provocative, irreverent
Uli–fun, life, adventure
Michael–sexy, sultry, sensuality (okay now that IS redundant)

Uli says she’s a little worried that Michael’s photo looks like a sex ad for “1-800-I’m-home-alone-call-me-you-stud.” Jeffrey says Michael made the worst dress and if we take away his three words, “sexy, sultry, sensual… STUPID.” Okay I lolled.

The next day Tim gives a somewhat emotional speech before they leave for the runway. They get two hours to hair/makeup the models. Jeffrey talks about being romantic while holding a glue gun. Swoon, right? Michael’s insides are like porridge. Haha porridge? You’re from Atlanta, you should be saying “grits”, what the heck is porridge dude?

Heidi comes out on the runway and actually looks cute for once! Nicely done! The judges are Michael Kors, Nina Garcia and Terry Somebody, who’s a fashion writer for the Wall Street Journal (we go from Iman to this??). I wasn’t really looking at the TV but thought it was a woman, but had to do a double take when I heard a deep, manly, “Hiiiii.” Whoa man voice.

The looks walked. Jeffrey said his looked perfect. I actually liked this dress. It reminded me of something you could buy from Anthropologie. Jeffrey’s clothes are alright usually if he would just stand nowhere near them, while not talking.

Laura liked the way the light reflected off the beads, and yeah this looks good but didn’t she make the same dress last week? When Heidi said she wanted one in every color, Laura took it seriously.

Uli was glad she made a short silhouette. Me too. This is cute, but I like everything Uli’s made anyway. On second thought it looks a teeeeeny bit like a beach coverup. The kind you buy in those souvenir shops. Don’t worry Uli, I won’t say anything.

Michael loves his look and says he even made a white girl look like she got ass, that’s how sexy it was. Ha. I hated this dress except for the color, and if you have any boobs at all, there’s no way you’re wearing this.

The judges chat with the designers, Laura’s first. NG isn’t surprised. MK thinks she should broaden the meaning of cocktail dress. Terry Manvoice sounds somewhat normal now, and says it’s very commercial but she’s seen it before. Michael says for him, it’s all about the dress. MK says it’s just a gown and there’s no “look” to this. Heidi says it’s not flattering, T says the keyhole is tricky and it’s kinda skanky. NG is disappointed because his presentation is always on point, and today the model looks a mess. Uli’s next and says her dress is all about fun. Heidi says it’s a new shape, T thinks it looks fresh with just a teaspoon of skin (ooh I like that) and NG is thrilled that it’s not long–it’s new but it’s Uli. Jeffrey says he was going for an heirloom feel with a bit of irreverence. T says it’s dowdy, M says he doesn’t see provocative in this dress. NG is confused, Heidi wants to take it to the barn and milk a cow in it.

The designers leave. They all agree Michael should have done a sportswear look instead of evening. They say Jeffrey surprised them but not in a good way. Laura is good as usual, but if MK sees 12 plunging necklines at fashion week he will scream, and thinks she needs to “rough it up.” NG thinks it’s just a phase she’s going through. They love Uli’s, it tells a story.

The designers come back and Uli wins, so she gets the photoshoot in Elle as well as a place at fashion week. She’s stoked. Laura, you have a strong point of view but we’re afraid you’re a one-note. Jeffrey, you surprised us, but not in a good way and we didn’t see any taste in the design. Michael, you confused us–we love your sportswear but your evening sucks.

Laura is in. She messes with Uli’s head backstage for a minute and it’s kinda cute. Michael and Jeffrey are left on the runway and I’m really sad because Michael’s dress was really the worst.

But wait. They’re both in. What? I mean, I’m glad I guess, but this is stupid. What is this Bravo, 3rd grade Field Day at church? Everyone gets a ribbon? What a bunch of hippies.

They all giggle and the hippies have a big love fest backstage. Tim joins in. How lovey dovey and lame. At least we get some venom next week at the reunion show, and Keith staring everyone down. I can’t wait.

1. These Alarm Clocks by Philippe Starck just dropped in Japan. Clean design, great colors. Push the clock counter-clock wise to turn it on and clock-wise to turn the alarm off.
2. Okay this Pumpkin Cheesecake Pan is too adorable to pass up. Fall is great, so are pumpkins. So is dessert, duh! $29.
3. The typography nerd in me screams for one of these. The Helvetica Clock features jumbled numbers in Helvetica on a white coated metal base, topped with an acrylic dial. Hooray Helvetica! Down with Arial! $29.
4. I’m not a big fan of watches usually, but this one caught my eye. New from Marc by Marc Jacobs. No numerals, MARC at the 15-minute marks. $200.
5. These SPLASH! Measuring Cups & Spoons are nice looking and durable. Available in red and green. $13.95-$23.95.
6. The Amoeba Acrylic Chair has great rounded lines with a smooth finish. Clear acrylic. $249.
7. More Helvetica. The Helvetica Wall Covering consists of laminate over a carved wood core. This would look pretty great in my office, I may have to email them about this.

Mmmm. Comfort food. Fall is fast approaching, if not here already, and after seeing this recipe online yesterday, I knew I just had to try it. This was my first time making stew. I enjoyed every bite. The original recipe was for vegetable stew, but I added in chicken chunks and changed up the veggies a bit.

The recipe was originally posted here. Sorry about my photography skills. Too lazy/hungry to gather a lighting source.

Chicken & Dumpling Stew

Stew
1 large onion
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (mine were pretty frozen)
mixed vegetables (I used carrot, celery, zucchini, garlic, cauliflower & cabbage)
approx. 4 cups stock (I used water + chicken bullion)
Salt and pepper, spices as desired
Flour to thicken

Dumplings
1 cup whole-wheat flour
2 tsps baking powder
1/4 cup butter
1 tsp mixed herbs
1/4 tsp salt

1. Chop the onion and vegetables into bite-sized pieces.
2. Put the onion and vegetables into a pot and cover with the stock.
3. Add chopped up chicken to mixture.
4. Bring to a boil and simmer for 20 minutes.
5. Season to taste.
6. Mix a little flour with a little water and stir into the stew to thicken. Add more if needed.
7. Place ingredients for the dumplings into a bowl and rub together until they resemble breadcrumbs. Add just enough water to bind.
8. Shape the mixture into dumplings (I made about 12 small ones)
9. Bring the stew to a boil and drop in the dumplings.
10. Cover and allow to simmer for 10 minutes or until dumplings are light and tender.
11. Serve at once.

I enjoyed mine with a crusty piece of french bread and a tall glass of milk. Yum.

I finally finished those purple & orange socks. And they went to their intended recipient: my mom. Yes, I am sneaky for no one knew I was making them for her (when I saw the yarn–Lorna’s Laces in “Bittersweet”–I definitely thought of her), but purple & orange are definitely two of her best colors. The pattern is Badcaul in case anyone’s curious.

Anyhow they look cute on her. Here’s some stitch detail. Please don’t point out mistakes, there are many haha.

Toes & cables.

Yes, I did get tattooed this weekend. No, I don’t have any pictures of it yet. This is the most you get. Don’t I look stoked? Haha not.

I’ll have some pics up soon enough.

It looks really great. It hurt really bad. I hear that coloring & shading is easier and I really hope so, because the dull letter opener being dug in and dragged across my skin feeling? Not so hot.

The weekend was pretty fun overall. Friday afternoon I made an appointment for a massage because my back had been bothering me for a week, to the point of where it hurt when I breathed. Carmen beat the crap out of me, but the pain is gone now, I’m really glad I went. Then I met Steph at my house. We picked up Jimmy and went to Doumars, then we lit fireworks and sparklers off at his beach.

We ended up watching a movie at his house, then went home to get beauty rest. We left around 10 and headed down to Winston-Salem. It took just under 5 hours to get there. After some design revisions, I got tattooed. I didn’t cry but I wanted to at some of the music that was playing in the shop. The place was really busy too, a ton of people kept coming in and just spontaneously picking stuff off the wall to get tattooed on them. Some were letting the price of the tattoo determine what they got. Nice!

We had some time left for shading but I couldn’t take anymore after the outline was done, so we got some pizza and got back on the road. The drive back was crappy. I was pretty tired yesterday, just went to church, hung around my mom’s, helped her with some website stuff and crashed early last night after trying to watch JAWS with Jimmy.

I’ll try to get some pictures tonight maybe.

Remember these? One finished, one more to bind off. I hope I’ll post these tomorrow.

Don’t tease us. Please say that we can buy this stuff somewhere, because I’d wear all of this right this minute. Well except for the welding mask and the metallic leggings, but seriously, how hot was his collection? Answer: extremely. The color, the hand detailing, I love it all.

Remember the Paul McCobb table I got for cheap from FUTURES? Some idiot spraypainted flecktone crap all over it. Thanks to my dad for the help sanding and painting it. It looks good as new.

I was gonna post this and say she’s quite the actress, but I suspect she’s really feelin’ it because her nostrils are flaring all over the place. Mine do that too when I am freaking out, which I always thought was kinda gross but now that I’ve watched this video I think it’s totally hot.

I need to get a hold of her new record. And also Justin Timberlake so I can hear that stupid Bringin’ Sexy Back song everyone is talking about. Everyone always gets sick of songs before I even hear them (example: I still have never heard the “My Humps” song by Black Eyed Peas or whatever).